GETTING INTO A DRUNK MINDSET
(an article pulled from the archives)
If you’ ever took a program with me, you more than likely have heard me talk about having a “drunk mindset” whenever you’re out at the bar. By no means am I suggesting you have to go out and get drunk, but I am saying that a little perspective, as well as putting yourself into the shoes of the folks around you, can be very beneficial to the success of your night. Remember, if you want to catch a thief, you have to think like a thief, and if you want to think like a thief, you have to understand what makes him tick.
Truth be told, I haven’t always been the lively social drinker I am now. In fact, I had never even been drunk (not even buzzed) until I was 25 years old, and by then I had been a solid “socializer” for some time. Alcohol should never be used as a crutch and all the issues you have (physiologically or otherwise) should be treated or medicated with methods other than the sauce. However, I have to say I did have a drastic spike of success soon after I got drunk for the first time—but not because of the reasons you might think.
Up until that point, I had spent my entire adult life going into bars and clubs completely sober (thou back in the old days I used to buy a beer and carry it around all night just to look like I belonged—yes, I once was that pitiful), for no other reason than the fact that I tried beer when I was 15, thought it was disgusting, decided that it wasn’t for me, and was turned off by it from then on out. I liked bars because I enjoyed socializing, however, I looked at all of my interactions on a very logical and (I would even go as far as to say) uptight level—even thou I loved to have fun. Nevertheless, I would go out, mingle, flirt, charm, and was very successful if I do say so myself. But, every now and then I would have encounters that seemed promising, initially, but by the end would totally fizzle down to nothing, and I never could quite figure out why … until I got drunk.
The fact of the matter is that people go to bars to drink. God knows the fun and the socializing is a big part of it as well, but you don’t really see a whole lot of 20 and 30-somethings flocking to the mini golf course on Saturday night—at least I don’t. They want to go to the bar so they can all have a few drinks, let their hair down, and let loose and enjoy themselves because, as we all know, that’s what alcohol does … well, it’s one of the things alcohol does. So, here was my revelation. The more someone has to drink, the more the following 2 things become prioritized:
1.) Fun - Anything from humor to dancing to games (like “Spot The Boob Job”).
2.) Sex - Racy comments, flirty touching, kissing, fingerbanging her under the table.
This is what the women at bars care about and I never totally realized this because I, myself, could never relate to it. If you can convey a fun vibe, or cut loose on the dance floor, or (and this is the biggest one) be a little naughty, then you are on your way to having your pick of any number of women who have that same mindset.
No one wants to talk about where they went to school, or how many siblings they have, or what their grandmother’s maiden name is. This stuff is boring—especially after a couple of drinks. Be aware of the “drunk mindset” and think about the things that interest YOU after you’ve had a few—even if you’re completely sober. More than likely someone else is gonna think so too.
I know being fun and sexual in the bar isn’t anything you haven’t already heard a million times before, however I see (over and over again) guys failing to capitalize on this. It’s like there’s some kind of little troll inside their head telling them that it’s not okay to express what you really think and feel. This doesn’t do anyone any good, because it is not the woman’s job to take the lead, and if the man is too scared to handle that responsibility, then nothing gets accomplished and EVERYBODY loses in the end. So, don’t be afraid to bring out your “inner drunk”, because, I guarantee, he wants to have a good time—even if you don’t.